why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize