By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
