So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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