Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
