Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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