Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I have post one night stand depression
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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