This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
