drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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