Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
home. puking in laundry basket.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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