i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
