I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize