Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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