The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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