just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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