dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
last night I used snow as a chaser
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
