I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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