oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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