Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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