I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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