we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
