I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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