He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Never joke about your clitoris.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
