College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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