I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
