Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
