I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
