Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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