Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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