THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
