Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
