i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
