it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
