Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
