I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
