Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
