it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
