Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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