Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
