so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
