You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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