I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize