I'll bet she douches with gravy.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
