let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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