Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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