Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
