belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
