Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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