I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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