I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize