At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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