why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Let's paint friendship bongs
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
