So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
