I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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