It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
