so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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