Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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