Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
