I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
