friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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