no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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