Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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