i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
