So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
