Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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