New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
