Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
