Sponge bath it is.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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