The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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