This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
